Belly picture time!

Here are some belly pics. I have gone from taking them every 4 weeks to every 2 because this boy is growing like crazy! I love it.

^ 18 weeks. Don't mind the creepy look on my face. I was mid-sentence when my mom snapped the picture.

Here I am at 20 weeks. You may not be able to tell but there is a big difference. If I get brave I may do a bare belly shot soon. Then you can REALLY tell the difference.

Tomorrow is our next appointment. I can't wait to see our little guy! :) Wish us luck.

Today is our Sweetbabys due date.

I love my son with everything that I have. I couldn't imagine life without him growing inside of me right now. I know that if it wasn't for the loss of our Sweetbaby that THIS baby wouldn't be growing inside of me but I still woke up in tears today. As I laid in Bretts arms crying I thought to myself "how can I be crying when I should be happy that our son is nice and safe in my belly" and just now I came across the answer.... because Sweetbaby was MY baby. Because I loved that baby, because I had big plans for that baby and that baby was taken from me!

It is so hard to think how different life would be if I had never lost Sweetbaby. Instead of sitting here writing in my blog I could be out trying every tactic in the book in getting labor started, I could be screaming with labor pains ... hell I could even be holding my Sweetbaby, smothering him/her in kisses. I have accepted that I am not doing any of those thing but it still hurts.

I am so thankful for my wonderful husband, my loving family (especially my AMAZING mom) and all of my great friends (even you nesties). Without all of their support I would not be as strong as I am. I couldn't make it through a single day without knowing you are all rooting for me.

I want my Sweetbaby in Heaven to know that:

I think about you everyday!
I will NEVER forget you.
I thank you for the short months of pure joy that you gave me.
I will make you proud in raising your brother Chaz.
We will be together again in Heaven one day.
I apologize if there was ever a second that you suffered while you were with me.
That I do not blame you or myself for your loss.
You will forever be missed.
Most of all .... Your mommy loves you and always will. As well as your daddy and the rest of your family.

I know my Sweetbaby is in Heaven watching over me and his/her family. I know that he/she wants us to be happy. I know that Sweetbaby told God to send Chaz to me (there is no other explanation as to how my due date is the day before our Sweetbaby went to heaven) and that is what gets me through every day.

I love you Sweetbaby!

Denver and our Anniversary!

When Brett and I got home Friday evening I told him I had an early anniversary gift for him and handed him a home made card I made with the tickets inside.

At first he seemed really confused and just stared at them forever then looked up and at me and said "umm, what are these babe?" I went on to tell him that we were going to Denver for the weekend to see his Bucs play the Broncos. I think he was in shock for a bit and then came the excitement.

This was our first road trip together and I must say it wasn't too bad. We hooked up the navigation system and off we went. It was about a 7 hour drive with all the stops we made, one being a stop at Taco Time to get his dad 2 dozen meat burritos. Yup, that's right... I guess there isn't a Taco Time in Denver and his dad loves the meat burritos from there so we stopped in Green River and picked up 2 dozen per his request. :)

Once we got into town we took his dad his burritos, obviously and joined him, his wife and her daughter for dinner at a hole in the wall steak place that actually ended up being pretty good, I was impressed. Then it was off to bed since GAME DAY was the following day.

When we woke up Brett insisted I go buy a red shirt since I forgot my Bucs t-shirt (yes, I know a Dallas fan owning a Bucs shirt..crazy isn't it). Once we got to the the stadium it was unreal. It truly is an experience of a lifetime. The energy was INSANE. We tailgated for awhile and then made our way through the crowds to the field.

Here are some pictures of Brett and I and his Dad outside Invescofield.

The second we stepped into the stadium Brett was in some sort of trance. For the first 15 minutes of being in our seat he just sat, stared and would throw in a "wow" every once in a while. I let him sit and enjoy his excitement while I melted, it was too damn hot for this pregnant lady! I eventually said screw the red shirt and sat in my white tank with my shoes off and jeans rolled up to my knees... hawt I know!

Sadly, Bretts Bucs lost 13-16 :( he seems to think that means we will need to make another trip to see them win some time soon. To me this means we should just go see the Cowboys since I know they wouldn't disappoint me! :)

That evening we met up with my little brother, his girlfriend Micaela and my nephew Cruz. I haven't seen my brother in over a year and this was the first time meeting Cruz. It was so great to see my little brat. Cruz was too cute to belong to my brother ;) he was such a blast. I didn't even want to eat dinner I just wanted to play with him all night. I am so glad I finally got to meet him and I plan on being in his life alot more than I have been, as well as my brother.

Here are some pictures of the happy family.

Isn't he such a cutie?

The next day we spent a few more hours in Denver. Went to our favorite Chai/Bagel place out there, walked around the mall and headed out. The drive was alot harder back because we left later and had to drive in the dark. Just because it was hard sure in heck doesn't mean it was boring. Have you ever heard two adults sing nursery rhymes... not to children but themselves? Well you would have had a hoot in the car with us, we sang every single one as well as played "I spy" for a good hour or two. It felt good to just goof off and be with eachother. That honestly was the best car ride of my life.

The next day Tuesday October 7th was our 1 year anniversary. Yay for us! We exchanged gifts. I got him a new pen for work with his name ingraved in it as well as a awesome business card holder. I got the most amazing bracelet ever. Here is the stock photo of it. There is two of my favorite pictures of Brett and I in the picture slots as well as our most recent u/s picture and an empty slot to put a picture of Chaz when he arrives. The stones in my bracelet are a diamond and an aquamarine (Bretts and Chazs birthstones) It is amazing! We then went to a family fun center near by and played some mini golf and arcade games. That night we went to Olive Garden and ate way too much food and went home and wrote each other letters about the last year. All in all it was a great anniversary and I couldn't imagine spending it with anyone else. I can't wait until our 2 year!

It's a BOY!

I am a little late on this but Thursday October 2nd Brett and I found out we will be having a wonderful baby boy! Chaz Christopher is measuring right on time and looks great. At first he was being a bit shy and the Dr. thought he was a she but as soon as he heard that he opened his legs right up as if to say "no, no I am not a girl. LOOK!"

We are over the moon to have our very own little running back! Daddy doesn't refer to him as Chaz he is "my little man" instead, which I love. :) It makes it so real to know that I am growing my son inside of me rather than just an "it".

We have BIG plans for our little boy and can't wait till we get to meet him.

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Brett and I just celebrated our 1 year anniverary yesterday. I can't believe it has been a whole year already. I suprised him with a trip to Denver to see his Bucs play the Broncos. It was so much fun and I will be sure to update with more info and pictures tomorrow! :)